Frequently Asked Questions Get the answers you are looking for

  1. Is this program really free?

    Yes! The military-focused version of our program is free to active-duty, Guard and reserve service members and their partners. Services are also free to those within a year of retirement, discharge or end of a tour. This initiative is supported by a contract with the Defense Department’s Military OneSource program.

  2. Is this program therapy or marriage counseling?

    OurRelationship is an online, self-help program — it’s not therapy. You can do it in your own time wherever you have an internet connection. Results show for some couples the program can be as effective as in-person marriage counseling.

  3. How does the program work?

    You and your partner will spend four to six weeks working together through a structured program of online activities. These will help you identify one or two relationship problems to work on, develop a more accurate understanding of those problems and then come up with effective solutions.

    Each week, you’ll work on your own to complete activities and then come together to share what you’ve written with your partner. You can complete all these activities on your schedule — wherever you have internet access — using your phone, computer or tablet.

  4. Who is this program for? Would my partner and I be a good fit for participation?

    No relationship is perfect. Even the strongest couples can use some help from time to time — and finding support that works for you and your partner can be challenging. OurRelationship’s online programs have been proven to work for all sorts of couples — whether they are dating, engaged or married for decades. Long-distance couples, deployed couples and same-sex couples have all found the program helpful.

    However, relationship support is most effective when both partners are committed to working together. If you and your partner are fighting so much that you’re physically injuring each other or are afraid of each other, we don’t recommend the OurRelationship program. These resources and services are not recommended for couples with a history of domestic abuse, or for partners seeking help for a relationship with patterns of control or violence. If you are experiencing domestic abuse, visit the 24/7 Family Advocacy Program Victim Advocate Locator, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

  5. Does my partner have to complete the program with me?

    Yes. Military OneSource offers the couples version of the OurRelationship program, so both partners can work together to improve their relationship. There are tips on the homepage to introduce the program to your partner — including an email you can send.

  6. Should we do it with a coach?

    While you can work with or without a coach, our studies show couples are more likely to finish the program — and more likely to benefit from it — if they meet with an OurRelationship coach. Your coach will help you tailor the program to the specifics of your relationship — giving you a better understanding of what’s happening in your relationship and specific ideas on how to improve it.

  7. When can we have calls with my coach?

    You can schedule calls with your coach during the day, evening or weekends. You can contact your coach via Zoom or over the phone. (If possible, we recommend using Zoom, so you can see your coach and your coach can see you.)

  8. How long does it take to complete the OurRelationship program?

    You can complete the program at your own pace – most of our couples complete it in four to six weeks. If you’re working with a coach, you’ll have access to that coach for up to two months. And you’ll have weekly calls to keep you on track.

  9. Is this program helpful?

    Yes. Ninety-four percent of couples who have used OurRelationship have been satisfied with the program, while 97% would recommend it to a friend. The evidence-based program has also been used in government-sponsored peer-reviewed research nationwide, helping thousands of couples improve:

    • Communication / conflict
    • Emotional closeness / love
    • Emotional closeness / love
    • And many other issues

    For more information, read the published journal article by clicking the link below.

    Learn More

  10. Is my information confidential?

    No identifying information will be provided to Military OneSource or the government as part of OurRelationship’s reporting requirements. Instead, only aggregate information (e.g., number of enrolling couples, number of couples completing the program) will be reported. Furthermore, OurRelationship has taken precautions to ensure the privacy of your information, including maintaining secure server and secure transmission of data.

  11. I’m not sure if this approach is right for me and my partner. Are there other options for receiving relationship support?

    Military OneSource offers a range of free relationship support and resources to help military families tackle challenges and boost their bonds. From virtual to in-person sessions with trained counselors, resilience tools to webinars and more, Military OneSource can connect you and your partner to the right kind of expert guidance. Contact Military OneSource for help determining the best type of relationship support for your MilLife. Call 800-342-9647 or visit Military OneSource to get connected with a trained consultant. OCONUS? Find international calling options.

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